Edelweiss

This week, I did my post on HIV Clinic. As the post came to an end, it surprisingly hit me once again about life.

In my opinion, as a doctor, we can’t just learn from textbooks or current updates. People around us are one of our best source of knowledge, including patients. From this week I learn that, each our patients are *really* different. They have their stories behind. Each person has their own worries, fears, hopes, challenges to overcome, reasons, which justified their actions now and then. From which we can’t just judge them right away. Our job is to make sure they are going at least one right way for their health, to make sure they are accepted as who they are eventhough maybe their preference is against our faith. To make sure that it is okay to have mistakes. And not to blame them for whichever things they’ve done. All of this which we can absolutely apply in life. You don’t need to be a doctor to understand this, you just need to be a person. A person who accepts another person as who they are.

Many times we feel like we don’t exactly fit what people on our age should do. I should take a look at my own. It is the time when your friends post everything about their kids, while you still, well, at school and your husband too. It is not that I envy them or something. It only makes me realize one thing: it is your own life that makes you grow. Some of us already had kids, some other pursue different things. It is not that I don’t want have kids, I will someday, but right now, I am pursuing another thing. So people, this is not something generalizable. You can’t say or judge “why don’t you have kids?” Or “why don’t you just work as GP?” As if you knew what other people are up to. People have different things to pursue. Whichever path they are now, they are up for something good in their life. So this is not your job to define whether something is good or bad for them. 

Where you’ve been

It’s an endless stream you can hardly go out. It’s where you’re the only creature who lives. Where you can just stay silent, absorbing the time, and couldn’t care less about anything. Apparently the stream has a time out. It can’t keep you forever in it. Time to go, it said. You’ve been groomed. You’re time has come before you know it. You don’t know when you can come back. You’ll spend most of your lifespan out of the stream.
It is still the stream you will miss the most. Used to be a home, but now only an escape.

Dokter Internship

After more than six months of hiatus I am back! If any of you wonder (only if any), what caused months of hiatus? Jawabannya adalah, as I mentioned in my previous post, karena saya jadi dokter internship di daerah perbatasan, Anambas to be exact hehe. Mana itu Anambas? Pertanyaan yang hampir selalu ditanyakan orang-orang tiap kali cerita tentang internship. Ini dia peta Anambas:

Yak betul sekali, itu ada di tengah-tengah laut cina selatan haha. Merupakan daerah TPK (terpencil, perbatasan, dan kepulauan). Disana gw ditempatkan di 3 pulau dengan 3 fasilitas kesehatan yang berbeda, Puskesmas Tarempa, RS Lapangan Palmatak, RS Bergerak Jemaja. Tiga pulau, walau satu kabupaten, kondisinya beda-beda.

Pertama kali dateng, gw ditempatkan di Puskesmas Tarempa. Tarempa adalah ibukota kab. Anambas itu. Walaupun ibukota jangan bayangin anywhere near big city. If anything could describe, it’s smurf village that describes Tarempa best. Jalanannya kecil, cuma muat satu mobil. Bentukan geografisnya bergunung-gunung, jadi jangan harap akan banyak mobil apalagi lampu merah. Mobil disana bisa diitung pake jari. Yang punya mobil cuma pak bupati, ambulans puskesmas, 1-2 mobil pick up punya juragan kelontong, sama satu mobil unknown pejabat yang ga pernah dipakai haha. Bank yang ada cuma BNI, BRI, BSM Mandiri, dan Bank Riau. Penduduknya banyakan melayu, chinese, ada juga sih orang jawa beberapa. Begitu sampe sana, gw langsung was-was karena diwanti-wanti harus sabar ngadepin penduduk asli sana. Ternyata benar saudara-saudara. Bukan maksud men-generalisasi, rata-rata orang melayu laut punya watak keras, suka-suka doi sendiri, ngototan. Ya Tuhan adu urat udah sering banget sih heuheu tapi ya namanya penyesuaian mesti akan ada clash dan a lot of venting hehe. Tapi orang puskesmasnya baik-baik banget, super baik, dan paling bikin kangen. Kita diterima udah kayak keluarga sendiri. I learned a lot from them, and yet, I owe them so much. However, walaupun ibukota dia ga punya RS. Satu kabupaten itu RSnya ada di pulau yang berbeda. Jadi, kalo mau ngerujuk pasien, harus pake speedboat atau puskel, puskesmas keliling. Sampai di pulau sebrang, gak langsung nyampe RS, mesti lewat jalan darat dulu yang naik turun. It was one hell of a ride buat pasien yang kondisinya pasti lagi ga optimal. Selain merujuk, gw juga ikut penyuluhan ke pulau-pulau kecil di sekitar pulau ibukota. Naik speedboat dong pastinya. Seru abis!

Beda pulau, beda cerita. Tempat gw yang kedua adalah RS Lapangan di pulau Palmatak. Hadoh, kalo dipikir-pikir disana hidup yang paling sengsara. Bayangin, listrik cuma nyala dari jam 5 sore sampe 7 pagi (itu kalo tepat waktu, seringnya engga). Di pulau itu, no ATM, makanan ga banyak pilihan, lebih mahal, dan pasar juga ga banyak pilihan, sinyal cuma GPRS (men, di era smartphone lo cuma dapet sinyal GPRS!). Kalo mau dapet pilihan ikan (yes, ikan, ayam ga dijual bebas bok) yang banyak, mesti dateng jam 5 pagi. Telat dikit, selamat anda gagal masak hari itu dan harus beli. Pernah waktu itu lagi musim angin utara, which is itu waktu dimana kapal-kapal kecil stop berlayar, termasuk kapal perintis yang ngangkut sembako. Musim angin juga nelayan gak banyak yang melaut, jadi stok ikan dikit. Bayangin, waktu itu stok telur ayam keputus hahaha, di pasar gak ada yang jual telur. Yang jual cuma satu/dua peternak ayam dan jadinya muahal minta ampun. Satu keret gitu bisa 100rbu. Matiiiiiii. Trus, karena ga ada ATM setiap mau ambil duit mesti nyebrang ke Tarempa. Seringnya naik pompong security perusahaan Connocophilips. Kenapa namanya pompong? Karena bunyinya pompompong hahaha mbuh piye pokokmen ngono. Pernah lagi waktu itu kita habis gajian, mau setor ke bank. Berangkat naik pompong pagi, taunya di tengah jalan, eh tengah laut, mogok. Mati banget gak tuh bawa duit trus mogok. Orang-orang sana sih pada jago berenang di laut, lah gue? Pas itu udah mikir aja, kalo orang-orang ngerampok gue, trus mereka kabur berenang, nangis deh gw di pompong hahaha bodoh pikiran panik. Enaknya di palmatak ada bandaranya. Disana kita bisa numpang naik pesawat perusahaan yang direct flight ke jakarta. Gratissss. Paling bayar calo aja sih tapi itu udah ngehemat biaya sampe dua jutaan buat sekali pulang. Pas selesai tugas di matak, rasanya bahagia banget, terharu sendiri ternyata bisa ya gw tahan di tempat begitu :’)

Laluuuu pulau terakhir, yaitu pulau Jemaja. Ih sumpah, ini pulau buat bed rest. Udah pasiennya ga terlalu banyak, jadwal jaga fleksibel, pulaunya baguuussss banget, makanan murah-murah. Jadinya hampir tiap minggu kita jalan-jalan haha. Bahkan pas lagi disana gw ijin 3 minggu buat ke Jepang :p ulala banget. Di pulau ini banyak dokter ptt, yang kebanyakan dari UGM juga (yay!). Hampir tiap malem kita punya acara, mulai dari badminton, nonton “bioskop”, sampe karokean haha. Disana sering banget makan hiu. Dan emang betul ya hiu itu enak banget apalagi siripnya. Hiu mulai dari dibikin gulai, dipepes, dipanggang, dibikin gorengan udah dijabanin. Hadooohh enak banget. Mau kepiting tinggal dateng ke penangkarannya. Dan pastinya murah banget bangetan.

Hm, intinya selama setaun kemarin banyak banget pengalaman, gak akan habis kalo diceritain dalam satu blog. I thank God I was destined to be there, even for only a year. Gw banyak ketemu orang dan pengalaman, yang mana dari mereka I learned so much things. There were days of venting, of course, but it  was part of the process. In the end, gw merasa sangat bersyukur bisa kesana. Now I know, I can go extra miles to the place I’ve never known before. By going extra miles it means you’re going out of your comfort zone. And by going out of comfort zone it means you’ll get to experience unexpectable things you’re going to remember your whole life (and things you’ll get to tell to your grandchildren one day!) So, don’t be afraid to go extra miles!!

The sunset you can easily enjoy by the puskesmas

The sunset you can easily enjoy by the puskesmas

salah satu jalan di Tarempa

salah satu jalan di Tarempa

mirip Maldives kan?

mirip Maldives kan?

sama para residen tukang jalan-jalan

sama para residen tukang jalan-jalan

ala Dunhill 40 cuts. Habis mancing langsung bakar

ala Dunhill 40 cuts. Habis mancing langsung bakar

Hiu hasil mancing!

Hiu hasil mancing!

IMG_2707[1]

and it’s us 🙂

Merely a note

2013 has been such a year. Took the hypocratic oath, then off to work in an island. I’ve been going through many things throughout. On a highlight, I learn to pay more attention to some things we people often take for granted. You know, I live in a place where the electricity only works for 12 hours. I try to be more considerate, thoughtful, and be less impulsive. I put up more effort to bounce back to the place where I could see the whole picture of everything, because things don’t always work on your favor. This year, I’m aspire to be a better human being on my terms.
I can see a glimpse of what 2014 might give me. Got some places to visit (gosh finally! After one year of hiatus), also one next big thing will be coming insya Allah. So, cheers to 2013 and buckle up for 2014!

Only Human

Most people forget that doctors are also human. Full of flaws, make mistakes, can’t instantly heal, can’t foresee someone’s future. Doctors can only predict. There’s no way of us knowing what will exactly happen in the next 2 hours, 4 hours. There are only probabilities. There are only efforts to meet your best interest. No, we ain’t God. We do need divine intervention every time we do the procedures, just like you do.
We are only human.

The first 4 months

Hi 🙂
After months of hiatus I am finally back. I’ve been busy strugling with poor reception in my work area. Yes, I’ve been doing internship program for 4 months to date, and still have 8 months to go.
This internship program is such a new experience for me as a fresh doctor. I got to work in the islands. Small islands for particular. It’s kinda interesting yet challenging though. I’ve met different type of people, with different customs, upbringing, level of education, and so on. This is like the real battle field.
Many things have happened during the last 4 months. I’ve been dealing with hot-headed, stubborn, greedy people, those who speak louder than what they actually know. Trust me it took a lot of nerves to handle them. I was upset at first. I vented most of the times. I was frustated when things/people didn’t work on my favor. I was all cynical and bad I could wish for bad things happened to the people. But then again, people need to be constantly reminded of the true meaning of life when things get rough. I do know that you can’t wish people to act accordingly, because most of the times they just don’t. As the saying goes, you can’t change other people no matter how bad you want it. You can only change yourself. You can’t wish others to work on your favor, you can only work on yourself. Take a step back, see the bigger picture.
Yang jelas there’s always blessing in disguise. Being in a new place is soooo exciting. You got to taste local food, experience local customs, meet some nice locals, etc. So far, in spite of those unfavorable events, I’m lucky enough to be here. Both bad things and good ones that happened will be of a significant lesson in the long run. We just don’t know it yet 🙂

Moving On

Apparently, this is gonna be my last day (or two days, maybe) in Jogja. While packing things into boxes, the 6 years memories keep playing in my head. Call me sentimental, or whatever, I don’t really care. I still remember the first time I got here, brokenhearted, had no idea what I would do. I called my high school best friends a lot, for not feeling homey here. Turns out, I felt everything wrong. I feel like I was destined to be here. I met many nice friends, super awesome teachers, sometimes it’s bitter, most of the times we got along just fine. This is the best place i’ve ever been lived in. The best 6 years of my life, that has taught me many. It is sad knowing that I’ll be leaving tomorrow, but this is life. The only constant thing in life is changes. So, I guess this is it. My time is up here. They say good bye is the new hello. I know someday I’ll be coming again to you, Jogjakarta. I left my heart here.

Sentimental

It might just you being the casual you as I was trying to assume so. And I was sure I was not the only one. I just thought that indeed it seemed wrong at the moment, yet it felt just sweet. How I hate the fact that everything gets so sentimental when it comes to you. Yes, the one and only you.